Drugs

So, I woke up fine on Saturday morning but within half an hour, whilst I was sat down in a brilliant chair (from a support perspective), I felt my back seize up.

I couldn’t stand up or walk straight.  Poor Mr PinQ was torn between utter horror at my pain and laughing at my impression of a constipated Neanderthal.  I was out of pain relief thanks to my GP and trying to work out how I was going to be able to get myself upright so that I could go to work today.  It’s my last week and I am determined to clear my tasking to alleviate some of the pressure that the Team will be under from next week.

I kept moving, had a hot bath, did some physio exercises, asked Mr PinQ to assist by applying pressure to my spine in some areas and spent the day laced tightly into a corset and finished with some home-made wine (loopy-juice) to try to relax the muscles.  I slept in the guest bedroom so that I could sleep flat on my back and not worry that I would snore and keep Mr PinQ awake and did a little Tai Chi.

When I woke up, I was at least able to stand straight but I was still in agony.  I was all twisted out of shape and every step was agony, my a*** stuck out like Mick Jagger in a strut but in slow motion – really attractive!

It has been over four years since it has been this bad so I decided that I had to go to the surgery.  I figured that if I saw the doc, he might relent and realise that I actually need the medication.

I have never taken them as prescribed – I know how bad they are for me – a quick look at my history would have told him that but I was really concerned that he would still refuse.  Thankfully, the lady on triage (I’ve never met her before and can only assume that she is a nurse practitioner) was brilliant.  She assessed me, checked my notes in a few seconds and prescribed the whole cocktail.  I was crying with relief as I headed to the chemist.  I am now as high as a kite and no longer care about the pain; another reason why I only take the meds when I can’t get my own shoes and socks on, when I have to crawl to the bathroom in the mornings.

Before seeing her, I was wondering what I would have to do to ease the pain if I had to see the incompetent again and I realised that my choices were as follows:

– Order the medication from the internet – which we all know is super safe!
– Find a local dealer and spend money on class A drugs (which would be impossible without a job!)
– Grow my own drugs

The latter option being preferable over the other two but how horrendous it is that knowing that my GP would not prescribe the medication that I needed, I was worried that I may have to make a decision to engage in criminal activity!  Worse still that the pain was so bad that I was considering that and I still couldn’t go to him because he flat refuses to let me have them because, and I quote: “they are bad for you”.

I KNOW THAT!

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